soul arcade;

I’m feeling rough. I’m feeling raw in the prime of...

Fri, 03 May 2013 11:53:48 -0500

I’m feeling rough. I’m feeling raw in the prime of my life. on Flickr.

I made this video two years ago but the sentiment still holds.

every now and then my overwhelming desire to be in a band takes...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 09:58:27 -0500

every now and then my overwhelming desire to be in a band takes a violent hold on me and instead of making music i end up making album art. this is me and laina’s band “mayne sqweze” with our debut album “consepsual”

the dictionary of obscure sorrows

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 08:36:52 -0500

sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Sweeneys Bar on Flickr.This is one of my favorite bars.

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:19:37 -0500

Sweeneys Bar on Flickr.

This is one of my favorite bars.

Jack on Flickr.This is my boyfriend :)

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:18:54 -0500

Jack on Flickr.

This is my boyfriend :)

Jane Russell’s Blouse on Flickr.This is part of a project...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:18:04 -0500

Jane Russell’s Blouse on Flickr.

This is part of a project I’m working on about Howard Hughes.

The Screening Room on Sunset Boulevard on Flickr.This is part of...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:12:45 -0500

The Screening Room on Sunset Boulevard on Flickr.

This is part of a photo project I’m working on exploring the life of Howard Hughes.

We’re young and we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. on...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 15:40:00 -0500

We’re young and we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. on Flickr.

We’re young and we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. on...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 15:40:00 -0500

We’re young and we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. on Flickr.

We the globe can compass soon swifter than the wandering moon

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:52:00 -0500

Many Minneapolians move out to Missoula, Montana and become grizzly-beared barefoot canvas backpack Missoulians (my frame of reference on this “fact” comes only from the Montana Kaimin so bear with me if this is a ridiculous generalization) and they have a grand time doing it. With all this confusion of where to go and what to do now that my time at CVA is drawing to a close, I can’t help but consider the vast scope of possibilities I have laid out for me like the yellow brick road. I find myself hopscotching and lollygagging along unsure of which way is right and which way is wrong. At this point I am convinced that there is no wrong way, per se, because every option is appealing and entirely possible but the enormity and weight of the “where will I be happiest?” question bears down on me like a 20 pound baby still growing in the womb.

“What are you doing next year, Maria?”

I don’t effin’ know! Is what I’m trying to say here, people.

If I move over to Minneapolis and finish my time at MCAD I’ll be close to those I love, on a fast(ish?) track to finally graduating, and I’ll have access to a killer studio. My family is here, my friends are here, and I’ve set up roots in this art community.

Well grounded roots are one thing but I’m also eager to spread these roots out. Grow a little. Like a cactus. Or a spider plant. Or maybe a sequoia.

I’ve been considering an alternative route / root (ha, see what I did there?).

I’d really like to move to Missoula. I love Montana so much that it aches in my bones all year long except for the week that I am actually there in the summertime. The fact of the matter is that it is beautiful and it makes me happy. The air is so fresh and I feel so free. But at the same time, Missoula is a great place for someone like me. The University offers my major. In fact, it would take even less time to graduate from there and it also has a great studio set up. I think life there would be easy but not in the lazy way. Like, summertime and the livin’ is easy a la Ella Fitzgerald. It has that sort of work-hard play-hard vibe and if the playing involves regular trips to the mountains, crimson sunsets, and a sky so big it could swallow you up… I’m down.

As with any decision, there are many complicated factors involved and while I’m not immediatelypressedfortime, I’m still sort of panicky every now and then in the can’t-fall-asleep-then-when-I-finally-do-I-wake-up-after-dreaming-about-medium-format-cameras-attacking-me-and-so-I-watch-shitty-cable-tv-at-4-in-the-morning-to-calm-down kind of way.

I’ll keep thinking on these things. If you have any input send it my way.

In the words of Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Jack shall have Jill.

Nought shall go ill.

The man shall have his mare again,

and all shall be well.

untitled on Flickr.

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:40:41 -0500

untitled on Flickr.

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:40:29 -0500

untitled on Flickr.

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:39:26 -0500

untitled on Flickr.

Anything But Ashtrays on Flickr.

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:38:00 -0500

Anything But Ashtrays on Flickr.

Glass Bottomed Boat

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:33:02 -0500

Life is hard and that’s why you have to let people love you. Will you even know what to do with the void once you get to it? Don’t be sad and semi-sincere. Extend yourself and protect yourself. What does it mean to be harmlessly annoying and does it matter? Words, uncouth and bruised, have therapeutic benefits.

At some point you have to think about the parody of the parody of the parody of existence.

Situational inconvenience can’t protect you from finding what is buried in the food pyramid. Tear walls down and don’t be a buffer between other’s experiences of the world. I said that ample was the new vast and kissing was a quick fix. I don’t think we can be sorry for the things we do in dreams.

If you wake up to a ringing phone and your first thought is, “What is wrong with you?” you might take time to rethink. What is wrong with you? Is it that the sky opened up and rain fell and you didn’t have a jacket? In the dead of night don’t look up to the heavens and the billions of lights spinning by and whisper, “fight me”. It won’t. You’ll think it will, or is, but it won’t and isn’t.

Instead, dream of a glass bottomed boat putting down anchor at a flooded playground.

And at the end of the day, guess who loves you? The gentle rain. Maybe. Maybe let the light clean everything.

Hello, your life is calling and you think it is a telemarketer.

Knockin’ Myself Out by Jean Brady and Big Bill Broonzy Get...

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:05:54 -0600

Knockin’ Myself Out by Jean Brady and Big Bill Broonzy

Get into this sound right now. Love it. Loath it. Hug it. Sing it.

I’m gonna knock myself out.

Backslider by Wild Belle Super great funky band that I...

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:03:53 -0600

Backslider by Wild Belle

Super great funky band that I can’t stop listening to. This girl is a babe and the style is really cool.

the thirstiest boy you know

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 23:04:00 -0600

A monk in a Rihanna t-shirt has been repeatedly chanting “your body is a backpack that you can never open” on the subway for 40 straight years. On the same subway, you make eye contact with a newborn baby. Everything is right in the world. Nothing could be anything but this. The baby feels the same.

You take a walk through the center of the sun and have an emotional response to a stranger’s cooking. When you’re done, the sun comes up behind you and hugs you but you can’t hug it back and this is the only real tragedy of our lives. What you’re not told is that on the night after you die there is an amethyst under your pillow where your head used to be. Your tombstone reads, “Get Well Soon.”

I’d just like to remind you that we do not “have” life. Or Being. It passes through us and moves on like light through a hole in your roof. Someone tell the wind to stop hitting on me.

Ballad From the Corner of a Coffee Shop

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:43:26 -0600

That’s expensive, that sandwich. Its so gross. You should get over those when you’re, like, eight years old.

Mom, where are my teeth? Ah, shoot. Tomorrow should be better. Morning meeting with someone else. Whats the topic? It’s serious.

Don’t come in! There is one other game. She said, “its perfect!” and then she went on and on for three weeks. Cavities.

When we first got there I was like, “What? It’s 11 in the morning!”

Really cream it up because I take it it’s the year 2000 all over again. What a birth defect.

I haven’t gotten it figured out.

I think this needs to be reinterpreted. I mean, we’re from Miami and that’s ok but she’s smart. We’re soul writers/riders, yeah? Ok, lets go now.

The number reigns but I think that’s the death of it.

Would you sit next to me? You actually would. We both texted each other and what did we say? We yelled. I don’t remember. It’s maddening.

Oh no. Um, yeah. This is tight.

It’s, like, random and falling apart but the main difference is that this is permanent.

I think about the elements and James starts healing me. We’re going a different way. Yeah, its great once I get over it.

This is my signature. I keep it in a folder and drink it down.

Oh, the symbols. Super, but not needed. Lets stop talking about it.

We’ll hold a riot this morning.

There’s no difference. I’m like, “how the hell do you know that?” And that’s the scary part. You find out who they are. It works but what is the function? I honestly have no idea. It’s been annoying.

I wouldn’t show you anyway. It’s so crowded here. But it works. Pretend you take out $30,000. Listen to the numbers. They’re ideal. They give perspective.

It’s creation and it helps you.

We’ve only talked a little bit but that’s not to say we don’t know your needs and behaviors.

I’ll take some notes. Is that ok with you guys?

Heres What Ya Do: Don't Stop 'Til Ya Get Enough

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 13:03:00 -0600

This is an exercise in quick and positive thinking.

Look around the room. Really look. Start listing off the things that you like. Maybe you don’t like them a lot, but they are at least a little bit likeable. Keep this list going. Don’t stop. In the words of Michael Jackson, “Don’t stop ‘til ya get enough.”

Only stop when you are sufficiently happy again.

I practice this daily - or at least whenever things feel less-than-great. This is why you can go through my posts and find at least 20 lists titled “Things I Like” Go on, look.

Go on, try it.

Today I am sitting in a room that is absolutely freezing and smells like a decaying asshole filled with wet rotting onions. My chair is uncomfortable and I’m tired. This is less-than-great.

So… this is my quick fix.

I like browsing the “Material Safety Data Sheets” - not to actually absorb the information but to at least remind myself that I’m capable of reading and understanding things like, “noncombustible liquids”, “nioish colloid”, and exposure to potassium dichromate can result in impaired kidney and liver function. I like playing with white out. I like going through the negatives that students have left behind. I like windexing the glass. I like taking vintage Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar magazines out of the library and cutting them up. I like answering the phone, “CVA Photo Lab, this is Maria.” I like that the only person who ever calls is the library. I like noticing typos on the signs in this office. I like that someone wrote “poop” on the pipe above my head. I like the sound of the processor being used. I like when no one comes in. I like when friends come in. I like when strangers come in. I like organizing the pieces of cardboard. I like sitting on the high stool rather than the low chair. I like that we have a box of tissues in here because, coincidentally, my nose is running. I like knowing odds and ends about lighting equipment. I like organizing the cup of pens and scissors. I like printing of nonsensical signs and posting them around the labs. I like pushing pins into the pinboard to make designs. I like playing with light meters. I like that there is a light switch and right under the light switch is a picture of a light switch.

There you go. There you have it. Try it out. I feel better.